our house comes to life

The number of cousins I have in Manila are about as many as the fingers on my hands. The majority of them are in Zamboanga. Recently, some of them traveled to Manila for different reasons and our house suddenly sprung to life.

The past months have been quite busy here at home. With my cousin Jaffy staying with us as he was awaiting a kidney transplant, to present as he recovers from the operation.

Early this month was my other cousin Cocoy's graduation from Law School. It is a big thing in our family as it seems that the most accepted and respected professions are doctors and lawyers (I am neither). Cocoy's family flew to Manila to witness the commencement exercises, including his brother's Bougette (first time in Manila) and Mick. It was fun having them around and I know Rocco enjoyed the most as he is for some reason drawn to his three Uncles. Plus of course, how could I ever forget that Sunday...that one day of gluttony we had in Unc Bim's house...literally eating from sun up to sun down(just so sinful!). Imagine, non-stop eating from lunch and ending the day with Yellow Cab pizza and their lo and behold ICE CREAM! I think I gained easily 10 pounds on that day.

Since the graduation, the house was slowly vacated as Bougette and Aunt Georgette (their Mom) had to go back to Zamboanga last week, while Uncle Boy (their Dad) and Mick stayed on for my Unc's medical procedures. After enjoying their company for two weeks, they left yesterday. Jaffy is still here and so is my Mom who is watching over him. The house was suddenly not as busy as it had been and I somehow miss it. And with Jaffy and Mom planning to return to the province this May 16, the once busy household will again become a quiet one. How time flies when you're having fun and it seems that our home just won't be the same without them.

Jun Lozada must leave LSGH

I have no political affiliations at the moment. I believe that majority of Philippine politicians are corrupt. I don't believe a thing they say. Sad, but true. I am still hoping for real change but until we Filipinos start voting wisely, this change will not come soon.

After Chavit Singson, my first reaction is that anyone who comes out now spilling dirt on someone else is just as dirty, has his own political agenda and should not be trusted. This is my opinion. Years of deceit and political blunders has just molded my mindset this way.

Coming from a family of La Sallites, and being an alumnus of DLSU, it is but natural that I would want my son to be a La Sallian as well. And so he is. We all know that the tuition at LSGH is very costly. The school year has ended and we are still making tuition payments.

When Jun Lozada was first reported to be "seeking shelter" at the Brother's house at LSGH, I was quite concerned with the security situation in the school. Naturally, I was thinking more for the welfare of my son and the other students more than the safety of Mr. Lozada.

I was advised that LSGH hired additional security just for Mr. Lozada. If this is true, I honestly hope my tuition payment was not used as part of that. I also heard that during the high school prom, the students had to walk the length of the parking lot to the ramp of the gym due to the security limitations brought about by Mr. Lozada's stay. School activities are limited to a certain time due to the 'curfew' set, also due to the security situation. Imagine the inconvenience this guy is creating at the school.

I firmly believe that Jun Lozada has worn out his stay at LSGH and should find alternative shelter. Perhaps go home. What I don't understand is that, if Mr. Lozada claims that there are threats to his life, why in God's name would he be doing the rounds of Manila schools, and then Iloilo and Cebu???!!! This is very suspicious to me.

I am also afraid that the La Salle brothers, whom I have the utmost respect for as some also happen to be close friends, are too close to this issue. Too close that the issue just might blow up in their faces and affect their credibility and the very institution they stand for.

I am sorry. I just don't trust Mr. Lozada because I see him as a crook who got off easily by blowing the whistle on his partners in crime. Inunahan lang niya sila para maabswelto. This does not make him a hero, nor someone to look up to and idolize. This is a mentality we Filipinos must learn to let go of. He should not be given celebrity status. He should also pay for his actions. I do agree that prolonging the proceedings in the Senate are a waste of time. It's actually getting pretty boring and the political agenda's of some of the Senators are so obvious that it really does look like grandstanding. Let's bring it to the proper forum. Bring it to court and if they are confident that there is enough evidence, it would not be that easy to manipulate the court, or at least, the educated viewing public.

If GMA really wants to show that she is against corruption, she must be willing to give up her husband to be investigated. If she is in on it, prove it and oust her-legally.

This is so tiring. As a member of the LSGH parents association, I demand that Mr. Lozada be removed from LSGH premises prior to the start of the next school year. I don't see why my son, and the other students be put in harms way for this man. I just don't see it. He has what, 3 or 4 sons enrolled there. I thought he was broke? Very suspicious.

Just wanted to share the feelings of a concerned parent.

Another year older

I turned 36 last Sunday. Rob asked me if I was happy. I could only shrug my shoulders and give a wry smile.

I find it really weird that I always feel melancholic during and around the days that lead to my birthday. It has been this way ever since I was about 10. I have been trying to dig deep down to find out what could have caused me to feel so depressed in the hope that I could acknowledge and get over it. Was it events during my childhood? Is it the anxiety over getting old? Funny thing is, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to shake it off.

It bugs me because I want to be joyful, I want to FEEL it. It bugs me even more that I have to force myself to perk up because I want to share the joy of my family. But I don't really feel it. Believe me I've been trying. Calling Dr. Phil?...

Could it be a fact of life that birthday celebrations are just really meant for kids? One where you are excited to receive presents, have people genuinely sing the Birthday Song? Feel the magic of it all. Could it be as one gets older, it should no longer be a celebration? A countdown maybe?

No. I refuse to think of it that way. I want to think and believe that it is a celebration of ones milestones. How far you have come. How much you have contributed to making this world a better place. Maybe that's just it. I don't feel like I have done much yet. I don't feel completely fulfilled. Maybe I equate it too much with money. Maybe my idea of a celebration is something I have not been able to do yet. Perhaps I am expecting too much? Expecting something magical to happen. Maybe I'll always be a kid at heart.

Even if I feel so somber, I am definitely thankful. Thankful for another year. Thankful that I can still celebrate it with my family. That I am still here, and that there are people that love me enough to actually celebrate. I really don't know what it would take for my feelings to change. I just hope I can figure it out soon, because I really don't want next year to be just another birthday...maybe I can try a different approach next time. We'll see...

Generation Gap

With all the cold and snowstorms happening above us in China, we have been fortunate that the cold air from up there blows down to us here in Manila. It's been nice and cool lately...the perfect weather for colds and flu. There's this bug circulating in the house. I caught it first, now Alexa has it. Good thing I was able to take some precautionary measures and was able to avoid a full blown cold, cough and flu. What bums me is that I missed Jason's Combo Dance class at my gym this week. It's something I look forward to every week (aside from Sunday basketball).

Anyway, Mom and Aunt Jean flew in from Zambo. We had breakfast this morning and as usual indulged in their usual pastime...talking about other people. It was funny that as I sat there listening and exchanging views about marriage, parenting and everything else, I could not help but notice that no matter how hard we try to bridge it, there will always be a gap that generations just cannot reconcile. It's not that its a bad thing. I guess it's just that each person is comfortable with their own time and experiences that anything different would seem outrageous and extraordinary.

Is it that as we reach a certain age, we stop trying, or refuse, to learn about new things and experiences? We limit ourselves to that which are familiar and 'safe'.

As I listened to my Mom and Aunt react with horror at youth behavior today, I could sense within myself the feeling that, at least with them at this point, the old will stay with the old. I wondered if I will also feel the same about Lex and Rocco once they become teenagers. I mean, I would like to think that right now, I am making a conscious effort to know what is happening out there so that I will be able to understand and deal with it once it starts hitting closer to home. It's a fervent hope.

If I were to compare today to "my generation" a couple of decades ago, there has been so much change...how much more with my Mom's generation? But if I really think about it...it is just evolution. Everything was and is still connected. During my time, technology was just on the verge of bursting out. We didn't have mobile phones or computers, or the internet. But I wouldn't say it was less happy times than it is today(except that we were much younger and didn't have to worry about work and bills, etc.). I kinda liked the idea that we looked forward to going out to play with friends, hours of endless conversation on the telephone, Saturday morning cartoons, etc.

Today, at least for Lex, it's texting or chatting, watching MTV and going to Starbucks (go figure). But I know that in a few months, she will want to start going out with friends, and then--parties. I know eventually I won't be able to stop her. But with all the vices that are becoming increasingly socially acceptable, the only thing I can do is equip her with the knowledge that will allow her to judge and decide for herself. I'm pretty sure I'll still raise the roof now and then, but I guess it's only normal because I care for her. I still hope with determination that I don't cut myself off from the evolving world. This is now the world my kids are in. I can't reject it. I have to somehow find a place for myself in it so that I can still stay close to them and not be relegated to wallpaper. It may be a daunting task, but I have to try. For their sake...and mine.

It All Works Out...

So, yeah, I hardly slept the other night. I was so bothered by my blunder, even if I kept reminding myself to be kinder to myself(did that make sense?).

I mean, from experiences in the past I know now that no matter how bad things get, it all works out in the end. I still needed to bug myself so that I would at least try not to be so careless again. At my age, it seems to be happening more frequently(scary thought huh?).

Anyway, I did not find the receipt. But Lex and I headed out to Greenhills anyway to buy her shoes and try to refund the game. Wonders of wonders, the game was available and so we were able to do an exchange instead, even without the receipt! TYL!!! It all worked out!

By the way, I have added a new element to my site, the 'My Song of the Week'. Since I love music, I will be sharing my favorite stuff and maybe you'll like it too. This week it's Newton Faulkner's "I Need Something". First, you should check out how this guy plays guitar--awesome! Next, listen to his lyrics. I hope you'll feel hopeful and inspired as I am every time I hear this song.

Frustrated And Baffled!

Aaaaaahhh....I'm so flummoxed!!!(frustrated)

Ever had one of those days where you just can't figure out where you left that darn receipt that you need to take back to the shop for a refund??!!! I've been in panic the last few hours wracking my brain, trying to find the receipt for Alexa's Game Boy game that we had to return because although it says High School Musical on the sticker and box, the game itself is Pokemon. Since the HSM game was out of stock and we've been waiting for a month now, I decided to just ask for a refund.

It's one of those days where you want to kick your own behind...and to think I was just holding it a few days ago because I called up the shop to follow up on the refund prior to actually going there. I'm so bummed out! I think, my blood pressure has been up as I can feel pain at the back of my neck.

I did ask the help if they possibly threw it out. They're not saying...as if they would in a case like this.

I wonder if the shop will accept even without the receipt. I mean, I have been conversing with them for a few weeks now. Wonder if there is a law that says the receipt is not required. I mean, I know the exact date when we purchased the item so I guess they can check their copy right? Aaaaargh!!! I have a head ache...I just hope I'll be able to sleep tonight and by some magic, I'll be able to find it tomorrow.

Man down!

It's a sad day for the movie world.

It has been reported that Heath Ledger was found dead at his Manhattan apartment. He was 28 and has a 2 year old daughter named Matilda (by actress Michell Williams).

Reports are still sketchy and there is still no confirmation as to the cause of his death. A bottle of sleeping pills was found by his bed but we won't know the real story until the autopsy is completed.

Rob and I love the movie "10 Things I Hate About You" (most especially the part where he sings "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You")-this is actually one of our so-called 'Classics', as well as "A Knight's Tale". I was blown away by the actor's performance in "Brokeback Mountain". It's a shame we will no longer be able to see this actor grow into the big star that he was meant to be. I'll bet that there will be no end to the speculations as to why he died. And I'm pretty sure it will somehow be related to River Phoenix's untimely death years ago.

This is indeed another big loss for the film industry. Another case of gone too soon. May he rest in peace.